My daughter was preguant and bored. She called me up and asked did we have any interesting movies on?Boy did
we? Aliens, monsters and Dawn of the Dawn. We set and watched it for about a half of hour then I heard a " I can't take this!" and out we went. It was a good thing we alredy had seen it. That was over 30 years ago.
Jeannie

My Private Part Died Today!
An old man, Mr. Goldstein, was living the last of his life in a nursing home.
One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed.
Nurse Tracy asked if there was anything wrong.
"Yes, Nurse Tracy," said Mr. Goldstein, "My Private Part died today, and I am very sad."
Knowing her patients were forgetful and sometimes a little crazy, she replied, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Goldstein, please accept my condolences.
The following day, Mr Goldstein was walking down the hall with his Private Part hanging out his pajamas, when he met Nurse Tracy.
"Mr. Goldstein," she said, "You shouldn't be walking down the hall like that.. Please put your Private Part back inside your pajamas."
But, Nurse Tracy," replied Mr. Goldstein, " I told you yesterday that my Private Part died."
"Yes, you did tell me that, but why is it hanging out of your pajamas?"
"Well, he replied, "Today's the viewing."
WITHOUT A TRACE
TGREAPER 2008
It was going to be so easy. John spotted the
carving knife soon as he entered Angel Trapp Diner.
The clothes he had stolen were too small, but nobody
in town seemed to notice. News of his recent prison
break hadn’t reached the tiny town yet, and John
wanted to be long gone before the news did arrive.
The man behind the counter looked up from the
cutting board he was cleaning and smiled.
“Sorry about the wait. My help called in so I’m a
one man show tonight.”
“That’s fine, John replied, sitting at the
counter. The man cleaned his hands and dried them off
on some paper towel. He tossed it away as he walked
over to John.
“What can I do you for son?” He asked.
“Turkey on whole wheat, light on the mayo.”
“Coming right up. Name’s Hank.”
“John. Pleasure.”
Hank pulled a container of lunch meat from the
fridge and shaved a few slices. Then he went about
spreading a knife full of mayo on two slices of wheat
bread. He held up a slice of Swiss cheese and John
nodded his approval. He put it all together and used
the carving knife to slice it corner to corner. He
laid the sandwich on the plate and added a pickle.
John was practically drooling as Hank handed him the
plate.
“Coffee?” Hank asked.
“Oh, yeah,” John replied.
“Right back.” Soon as Hank disappeared into the
back room John grabbed the carving knife and shoved it
into his inside jacket pocket. It was stiff and
protruded slightly, so John had to hold his arm over
it to hide the blade. Hank came back through holding a
smoking pot.
“Here ya go.” He poured the coffee and put the
pot on the counter. He watched in silence as John
finished off his sandwich and chased it with the
hottest coffee he had ever tasted.
“What do I owe you?” John asked. He had no
intention of paying, but he didn’t want to raise
suspicion.
“John, we both know you’re not going to pay me
for your dinner.” Hank smiled. His words startled
John, who jumped off the stool and pulled the knife.
“Hank, you’re a good guy. I don’t want to hurt
you.”
“Well, that makes two of us,” Hank chuckled.
“Fill up a bag with cash from the register. Don’t
make me hurt you.”
“No. That’s not going to happen,” Hank said. John
took a step towards him then stopped, grabbing his
chest.
“I was wondering when that was going to happen.”
Hank watched John fight to stay on his feet.
“What did you do to me?” John croaked. Blood spit
from his mouth as he spoke.
“Bad coffee. Does things to your insides. You
should research it,” Hank said, then added: “Well,
guess that doesn’t matter now.”
“You Fuck-” Blood and smoke spewed from John’s
mouth, spraying the floor. John’s legs gave up and he
collapsed.
“I know who you are and what you have done,” Hank
said, watching John twitch as his life slowly leaked
on the floor. “I couldn’t let you hurt anyone in my
town.”
As if on cue, the diners doors swung open, and
the room filled with townspeople. Hank held up his
hands, keeping the them quiet.
“Okay, his insides are pretty well smoked, in
case anyone wants dark meat. Also, he’s lost a lot of
blood, but if I can get someone to help me drag him
into the back before he dies, I’ll still try to make
my famous stew.”
Two men approached John, each grabbing a leg and
dragging him into the back. Hank smiled.
“Okay folks, have a seat. Dinner is served!”
Read Empty Graves by Bestselling author TGreaper...wherever nightmares are sold
The man stared at the computer screen with a
glimmer in his eye. This day had finally came. He had
worked tirelessly torwards this day for thousands of
years. Finally, vengence would be his. The engines
that ran his transport machine were still humming in
his ears, even now, after his children were sent off
into war. He looked over at the empty tubes that once
housed his creations and he suddenly felt sad. Empty
nest syndrome, he remenbered the humans word for it.
Humans, the things that happend with them in the last
millennium. Once he was heralded as a God. Stonehenge
was erected in his honor. Now it was a tourist
attraction. And he was....forsaken. The words
PROCESS COMPLETE flashed on the computer screen. The
man smiled. Soon he would be a God among men again.
The human race will realize his power, or die. The
second coming was at hand. He unbuttoned his lab coat
and sat back, the computer monitor changed screens to
a survellience camera. The world was about to be
cleansed again, and he had a front row seat.